Spiritual ascension has never been what the movies portray it to be. It isn’t seeing rainbows while it rains, or reaching a pot of gold somewhere in the dark. It isn’t becoming like Buddha, or finding forgiveness for those that hurt you.
It isn’t zen. It isn’t love. It isn’t peace.
It is nights of tossing and turning, and sweating out of your pajamas from the anxiety of insomnia.
It is nightmares that are so dangerously intimate, you actually start to question if your life is real.
It is realizing anger and hatred boils within you towards family and friends that you never realized were toxic to your development.
It is being alone and holding yourself at night while you fight against crippling loneliness.
It is losing and detaching from people you never saw yourself living without.
It is becoming the scientist after being the poet, to then turn around and become the scientist again. And still wish you were the poet.
It is burning in flames and freezing into ice bergs. And then dissolving, again.
It is the epitome of decomposing.
It is drowning and dying in the tub, after a long day floating in the ocean at the beach.
It is being left, abused, and lied to, just to find out that you are the source of your own deception.
It is falling in love, and then watching that love die right before your eyes.
It is praying to a God that you eventually realize does not exist.
It is realizing that you are God alone.
It is talking to the moon at 4 AM, because nobody else would understand.
It is making plans with people and spending the entire weekend in bed instead.
It is lonely.
It is studying, understanding, and experiencing things that don’t make sense, but now somehow do.
It is pain, beauty, and change. All set on fire.
And if you are lucky, it is the greatest adventure of your life.
Most people never reach this point of ascension.
Most people quit this journey as soon as they experience any sort of discomfort.
Not all people are courageous enough to continue to suffer and grow.
Not all people are willing to sacrifice their happiness for something much greater and larger than life.
This is spiritual ascension.
It is a depressing and miserable experience that brings you to tears of joy.
It’s living with closed eyes for so long that you can only see the darkness within yourself.
It is learning to stop yourself in the middle of your tracks because a sign just revealed itself to you.
It is understanding what feelings are yours, and what feelings aren’t.
It is stopping your mind from overthinking before you become used as a vessel again.
And yelling at yourself to stop until you do. Literal yelling. Out loud. Until you stop.
It is conscious awareness after the fall of extreme sensitivity.
It is realizing that the world revolves around logic in order to manipulate and enslave us to think, rather than feel.
It is realizing that society is the matrix, and in the midst of a chess game, we are just chess pieces.
It is calling Check when you think you’re about to win.
And then taking a loss.
It is questioning every belief and thought you’ve ever had, and digging through every emotion you’ve ever felt.
It is reflecting through all hours of the night, and revising through all hours of the day.
It is buying candles because they bring you peace, and learning to like instrumental music because it calms the mental chatter.
It is valuing quiet time and alone time, day after day after day.
It is seeing the evil in everyone you’ve ever loved, and realizing it appealed to you in one way or another, at one time or another.
It is staring in the face of evil and death, and not feeling fear.
It is breaking through karmic patterns that you thought all along were breaking you.
You see, it is not always camping in nature or calling onto spirit guides. It is not always rising to a vibration of love and peace. It is not always using drugs and psychedelics. It is not always praying to the God you were raised and programmed to believe in.
It’s realizing the danger of letting someone pray for you, the danger of being vulnerable under the influence of a drug, and realizing the mutable nature of your vibration is linked to the mutable vibrations around you.
It is learning to value space in every aspect.
More often than not, it is realizing the reality of the spiritual warfare happening in the world, and understanding that one must not bring roses to a gun fight.
Spiritual ascension is a choice.
It is taking months, sometimes years, to go on a painful journey. All by yourself.
To end up realizing it’s an adventure that lasts a lifetime.
It is a decision one must be willing to take, where one is willing to suffer.
But those who do take this risk and do the spiritual work, they come out of their part one Hermit stage as a brand new person: a spiritual being.
Who they were before this ascension period started is someone they could never be again. And who they are becoming, will take the rest of their life to become.
That is the key to spiritual ascension.
It has no deadline, it has no rules, and it has no boundaries.
It is infinite, endless, and otherworldly.
It is a lifelong process that begins after the first period of your life when you die.